May 7, 2020 Full Moon
The
Hare Full Moon
Sorry for the late post, but I am in school and live in Arkansas where the quarantine is not quite locked down. Work has been kicking my butt. Today, however, there has been a large shift of energy. I feel less bogged down. Not to say I am not still heavy. My sister called me to talk about the recent shooting of the unarmed black men and I burst into tears. The full Moon always heightens our emotions, this one is no different.
The first full moon in May is called
the "Flower" Moon. This was to mark the blooming flowers that come
this time of year. Other names are the Hare Moon for the presence of bunnies
and hares his time of year. One of those adorable creatures got the first,
fully grown strawberry EVER from my own garden. It was so beautiful; I had been
watching it for days.
The Moon is positioned in Scorpio in the 7th House. The Full Moon in Scorpio is very intense emotionally. This is a time when people will not be able to hide their true selves. Tapping into this energy, you can be able to see through the facades that people usually hold up so effortlessly. This energy also brings the strong need to go through deep transformation, growth. One of my friends explained it to me as " I feel like I am running out of time". When she said this to me, it was remarkable, because I know that exact feeling. Even though I cannot know exactly what she was feeling, I knew that exact feeling, ha.
For me, it seems like every day you wake up there is something that you are supposed to be doing. However, you cannot for the life of you figure out how to get on the right path to do what it is you need to do. Feeling the unfulfilling nagging that is louder than everything else in your life at the moment.
“Even
though I cannot know exactly
what
she was feeling,
I knew that exact feeling...”
This feeling went away after I learned one of the most important lessons of my life.
My true place in life.
The Sun [in Taurus] and Moon are in opposition at 0 degrees. When the Sun and the Moon are in opposition, there is an internal struggle between the individual’s needs and wants. This could apply in any area if an individual. Here, the Moon is currently in the 7th house, which usually relates to relationships and partnerships. The Sun is housed in the 1st house that has to do with identity and self. The Moon is also in contrast to the Ascendant [ ASC in Taurus; experiencing the world through the senses- high emotion!], which brings more of the energy of self-awareness through the feelings.
What is it about yourself that is
opposition with your current situation?
What feelings about yourself are in opposition with current situation, with yourself?
This is what I believe this energy is dealing with.
When struggling with this feeling, my current social status was not meeting my self-expectations. I was working a job that offered no self-respect, I had recently been diagnosed with a chronic pain disorder that was making just living a chore, I had no savings, but mounting debt from doctors’ visits. This was not the person I saw myself being. AND to top it all off, I was working for a jerk who seemed to have all the things I wanted, especially respect that I was sure he did not deserve.
Then, one day in a meeting with my jerk of a boss, I was listening to him speak and realized what was actually going on between us. My supervisor was just as insecure as I was. His insecurity was pushing him to be a jerk and mine was pushing me into anger, at everything and everyone, especially my supervisor.
A light bulb went off at that moment and something shifted in me. I started a new mantra:
I am secure in myself
I am secure in my place in the world
I am secure that I am laying a good
foundation for my future.
I am secure in myself.
No matter what people reflect on me about myself, I will stand true to the principles that are important to me: honesty, genuineness, friendship, creativity. I will let no one else define me. This does not mean I do not have room to grow and that constructive criticism or advise from worthy sources should not valued. It means not letting bad actors to, as Cardi says, "have me looking in the mirror different; thinking I'm flawed becuz you [insecure]".
I am secure in my place in this world.
We are a speck of dust floating in a
mostly unexplored galaxy that is one among billions. This idea re-enforces a
couple of things. I am not that important. As Rick from Rick & Morty would
say, "Everything is meaningless." Not to that extreme, but one of the
things I am troubled by is that I truly believe I should be helping more
people. There are slaves that need freeing, victims that need saving, teens
that need mentoring, literacy that needs to be taught: I want to be the person
to do those things, but I am not able to and I felt I was running out of time
to make a difference. I am not. I am unable to fight right now, I am
healing/copping with my health, I am low on resources; the most important one
being the simple energy to fight.
I need to find my place where I am right now, believing that the people with the energy and resources are giving their all, while I am doing my part.
I am secure I am laying a good foundation for my future.
This is not the encouraging, *with two cents in my pocket I worked for a non-profit doing this for those people who really thanked me after* story do-gooders want to read. This is me tell you to get in where you fit in. That might be a really unusually place, for me it was the Parent, Teacher Organization at in my new town Our schools are falling behind quicker and quicker every year and I want to be a part of the solution. I might even want to run for office one day when I have my disorder under control. The PTO seems like a good place to start. I will meet the teachers, parents, and students at events and become a part of the community. It is not stopping modern-day slavery, but it is important. It is my place right now and I like it.
This post is already late, so
I am going to end here. I found my place was in my security of self. Once we
really understand our true struggle between needs and wants that understanding
to walk us into our new level of growth.
Are you feeling this energy? How is it manifesting for you?
- La Bruja
Sources
The Astrology Bible, Judy Hall
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